Key words for this article are Spiritual Understanding Trust Relating Others Freedom… They all go hand-in-hand really. It seems like most of us consider the concept of trust to basically mean an emotional feeling of dependence on either the character, ability, strength or truth of a person, place, or thing. In other words, it’s a feeling that is highly conditional and may change. We all have experienced the feeling of trusting and not trusting. Some of us carry with us painful memories surrounding betrayal or loss regarding a feeling of lack of trust. As a result, some people feel limited in their ability to find freedom, happiness and to feel truly alive. This state of mind can feel restrictive, yet it may be transformed to find inner peace.
Do you lack clarity around issues of trust?
The intention of this article is to help you discover and integrate a more balanced sense of trust, no matter what your experiences have been with it in the past. As part of my spiritual path I have found that the concept of trust and my “issues” about it and lack of understanding, has been the most difficult blockage for me to overcome. As a result, I would progress and awaken through parts of my journey, finding deep inner peace in most aspects of my life, however my past experiences with trusting people were hindering me. Consequently, after spending much time and meditation looking at my thoughts and sitting with my feelings, I realized that it was my understanding of trust that needed transformation, not necessarily things I was doing, or others were doing to me.
Spiritual Understanding Trust Relating Others Freedom
The words above all resonate with me in my heart center. Since I was a very young child I knew that people lie a lot. I saw firsthand that family who loved me, friends I believed cared about me, and people I respected, all had the capacity to lie to my face. I’ve been betrayed by lovers, manipulated by family, tricked by friends, and fooled by others for various reasons. Maybe you can relate? Well, I am a deep feeling empath, and I use to take things very personally. It would hurt me a lot. The way I was approaching trust was becoming like a tightening rope around my neck. At times it would trigger symptoms of post traumatic stress, panic, and severe anxiety. I have never been afraid to face my feelings. This helped me conquer this huge obstacle on my path. Hence, I have continued to have courage to trust again after countless experiences of feeling hurt. It’s helped me become more committed to my deepest intention. My intention is to serve others and be present for what matters to me while bringing happiness into my relationships.
I have always placed trust in myself and my intention to my work in a spiritual way. In these two areas I have never been betrayed. So, I began in that space to transform my wounding into a healing perspective. It feels good to share it with you now.
Types of Trust
There are different types of trust. The most delicate kind that is often broken between people is called “Transactional Trust“. Transactional trust is an important part of building community, friendships and personal relationships. It is formed by an agreed upon exchange and based on performance of a future result. Often it is time-sensitive. Experiencing transactional trust is part of every day life. It is completely natural to expect a certain outcome from certain deals we make with people, places of business, and other entities. For example, when we go to a restaurant, we trust that we will be served food that is safe to eat. If we are served food that is spoiled and makes us sick, we may lose trust for the people that work there and the restaurant in general. We may even get upset and complain, etc. Most of us learn from these experiences and are then able to apply our reasoning to the next similar situation. In addition, “False Trust” is experienced as a shadow side to transactional trust.
False trust is damaging to relationships…
There may be warning signs that someone, something or somewhere is not safe to trust. By recognizing false trust when it first occurs we can choose to remove ourself from the situation or decide to have a mutual conversation to discuss the transaction. You might experience betrayal in a relationship. You learn that even when you feel loved and comfortable, that person can still hurt you deeply. This causes some people to close off their heart and not want to connect with others in the future. It distorts our perception causing us to lower our expectations and alter our value system. Trust in relationships is attainable. When transactional trust is strong between people it creates a supportive foundation for working together. With dependable transactional trust, partnerships and communities are capable, active and flourish. Never discard common sense in order to keep trusting. Transform your way of seeing trust.
The key to trusting is to trust. How will you know if you can trust, if you don’t trust again? “Intuitive Trust” is a heart-centered transformational awareness of natural trusting, that is not based on the future outcome of an exchange. It is not measured in time. Intuitive trust is the ability to stay in the present moment and have the strength to face any feelings that arise with what ever comes your way in life. First of all, realize that outside conditions are not a dependable source of meaning or true happiness. Conditional outcomes are always changing and have to be constantly reevaluated yet almost all of us make them especially relevant.
What I have learned…
My spiritual practice of staying present with my feelings has made me stronger within. The focus is on how I am being with my feelings in the moment. Do not avoid the pain of false trust, or pretend that transactional trust between others is strong when it really isn’t. Face the truth you feel in your heart. I care deeply about people, animals, and my purpose in life. Trusting my heart allows me to be vulnerable with others and face life directly. I manifest what matters to me. What matters to me is what I can give, not what I can get.
Disappointment and pain are part of our human experience. There have been times when I doubted myself. I would make myself available and vulnerable to another and they’d betray me or hurt me. Was it my fault, I wondered…? I’d be questioning what I did wrong all the time. In relating to others, I’ve found that the key is to stay in the heart-centered intuitive trust that trusts that their is goodness in all at the core. To honor this belief, I continue to extend my trust to people, even those who have hurt me. However, I also set boundaries and walk away from certain people who repeatedly show up with manipulative tricks or false trust. It’s one thing to forgive, but yet another to have self respect and honor our needs. Surrendering to intuitive trust is healthy. Surrendering to abusive people that offer repeated false transactional trust is not. Sometimes people will demand our trust in order to get something from us. This is not something to place your trust in.
What to do
I’ve had people who say they love me, tell me they’ll do something that we agree upon and arrange. Then it never happens. This doesn’t cause me to dislike them. It doesn’t mean that I should feel sad, take it personally or walk away from the relationship. It simply means that some people do not put trust in them self. People say things that are not in alignment with their truth, and they are therefore unable to follow through. It could mean they changed their mind. We all have complex lives. It can be difficult to understand why people do what they do.
Finally, the more you tune in to your feelings about how relationships feel and how you approach issues of trust, the more you will gain freedom and become liberated from the endless cycle of fear and wanting. Fear of being betrayed again, or wanting a certain outcome that you placed your trust in, is a form of clinging. Clinging causes suffering. Furthermore, be with your feelings just as they are, without judging yourself or rationalizing the situation too much. Trust in the eternal now. Trust your heart. Make wise choices with who and what you give your energy to. With intention, discipline and gratitude you can have clarity about trust.
Are you struggling to make sense of this article but interested in liberating yourself from the suffering caused by lack of trust in your relationships, whether it be with your lover, boss, friend, organization, etc.? If so, contact me for a Transformational Guidance Session for support. I offer tools to transform your way of approaching trust and will empower you to reclaim your soul purpose for full expression and well-being. Thanks for reading. Contact me here.